Cause just this time, I'm taking what I get & dont stop me.

Okay my days are spent um say, fruitfully I suppose if you categorise math remedials from 8am to 12pm under Fun. But throw in those breakfasts, piano playing, fun within self study sessions@ the grand auditorium, and not forgetting a whole toss of hanging outs and you've got my game. ^^
Hanging out with Minmin, C& J (?), Huilin and Szexuan was joy. But then came the crashing of shiz -- results.

Friday, November 10th.
I'll never forget this day. The day started from everyone awakening from a night of conference calls diminishing all negative thoughts&hoping for the best. Everyone, including *. No one really dared to whine/rant/groan over the thoughts of separation running through our heads for fear that * would feel worse than evr. But deep inside we all knew how bad and worried we felt for ourselves, there was definitely no denying that besides our anxiety for *'s appeal, we were also pumped out over our own. On friday we all woke up to Dooms Day. Surprisingly I reached school about an hour earlier at 7am. Went to the concourse for a chillout, met #. Had some chit chat going on about him looking for another school and random swing talks. Later on Chantelle and Shuhua came along and we all sat together and talked. Saw Chantelle holding the book of secondary school options, and we flipped through trying to scout for the best available option she could pick. But while i was running my fingers through those pages of The Book, in my mind i thought :

What if this exact same thing would happen to you next year, Dawn ? What would you do.?

Shrugged my thoughts off, went on looking through those pages. Saw many unknown names of high schools I've never heard of. Then i flipped to a certain page that was so familiar.
Blinked twice, looked again, smiled. Chung Cheng High Main.
The longing to scream out loud to Mr Lo Chee Lin& not forgetting Mdm Tan Lay Gin rushed to my mind -- Please let everyone promote, please. Please let *'s appeal work successfully. Please let the school realise how much a second chance could mean to each and everyone of these people. Please. (?)
But moving on, C&S looked over to the flag raising area, and C said with a sigh, something I'll never forget :

" Man, this is the last flag raising already."

You could just see from her eyes how much she wanted a chance.
We continued talking along and soon they said their goodbyes and left me and # to continue talking on. It lasted around twenty mins, then M&N {ha ha} came& # left.
The day flashed by and it was already towards the end of Math Remedial. Karen bumped into us, and then huilin/minmin came along too. I wrote an appeal letter in place of * to the VP in hope it could help the school reconsider their decision in some way or another. It eventually led to a math discussion/tutoring, and ended up as a heart to heart to talk at the table. I can still remember, how tightly clutched everyone's fingers were when we prayed for *'s appeal to work. But while waiting for the VP to show up, we headed to the concourse with heavy hearts hanging low to check our final streaming option results. Then we all sat down and everyone was groaning over results/contemplating over how much regret we own. It was then that each of us started to realise how lucky we actually are to still get a place in the school. Because we knew that one among us was sitting down quietly thinking,

"I don't even have a stream to groan over. Stop all your shiz."

We moved on back to the grand auditorium, where we packed up our remaining stuff and waited for Mdm Tan to arrive so that * could ask here for the final about the school's decision on reconsidering her a place in Chung Cheng High Main. But by and by Mdm Tan Lay Gin just kept pushing it off, until *'s final attempt to talk to her -- which ended up in tears. All of us on the steps of the foyer looked at her, with that longing among us to ask her to brace up once more. But everyone knows that this time its different. Its just .. different.

Sometimes I just wonder, with all due respect why can't the school reconsider their decisions on all the kickouts/retainers. I've got not much say in this, considering I've my ass safe. But that's not the point. Its these people that mean so much to us. I'm not gonna spill my words and talk about certain retainers that get to stay just because of their obvious talents {you guys get my shiz by now}, but how about the rest.? These remaining people, are not unworthy of any talents. I know Yongkee's good at art&english. I know Chantelle's forte's track& english too. Maybe up to this point of time I can only list out two, but that doesnt mean I dont believe in the rest. Its godzammit wrong to actually state that they are not worth keeping in Chung Cheng. Because that would just prove the school values to be meaningless bullshit that revolves around a false facade of grades whose existence really depends only on putting on a masquerade and clouding the hidden talents that they have chosen to give up on. The school has something to lose, bigtime. Can't they tell.? & for the final, how could they actually consider themselves teachers when they really seem not to give their two cents worth of care&concern for these students that still have a long way to go ?
Just because they've made mistakes, you blow em off. But the real reason standing ?

"We can't afford to let the school's standard be pulled down by such academically lousy results."

We all know that's the real dyamzit reason. But don't get my intentions misread, I'm speaking for the student body and not for anyone in any personal particular sense. For once, if Mr Lo could sit down. And think about this from another point of view. What if his very own daughter, was good at something that wasn't really seen as "academically important" by the school but yet she gets the boot ? Would he say to his daughter,
"Oh forget it you aren't that smart enough to study in such a good school anyway. Don't even bother to appeal anymore and waste their time. Start looking for a neighbourhood school that suits your lousy standard."
Would he.? Would he.?

Quote Yongkee : "This isnt in the heat of the moment, but it will be sustained throughout the long run of my education in Chung Cheng High Main."
Quote Szexuan : "I am not giving up on my studies, and i hope the school doesn't give up on me too."
Quote Chantelle : "One more chance. That's all I need, and that's all cchms can ever give me."
Quote Joel : "I don't look forward to 2007 at all, with everyone going off."

There are so many unheard tears and regret the school doesn't acknowledge of.
Its always like this :

They look, but they never see.
Why.?